I am so fortunate to have the intelligent, articulate and curious friends that I do. They are always bringing the most interesting articles to my attention, and consistently want to continue discussing/wondering about them. This article is no exception. Entitled "Sex is cheap: Why young men have the upper hand in bed, even when they're failing at life", the article seems like a good follow-up to my last post-about the article trying to explain why men are failing at life.
However, unlike the last article, I think the author has more evidence to back up his claims and a better overall hypothesis and conclusion. The claim being explored is that although men may not graduate from college at the same rates or have the same professional successes in their early 20s as women, they still have the "upper hand" and control when it comes to sexual relationships. The article points to the idea that sexual ratios (the number of sexually active men to women) changes the way in which men and women interact, and has an effect on long-term outcomes for those men and women. The obvious first thought its "well DUH!", it makes sense that different ratios would have a different outcome. But who doesn't like a little statistical research to back it up: "Analysis of demographic data from 117 countries has shown that when men outnumber women, women have the upper hand: Marriage rates rise and fewer children are born outside marriage. An oversupply of women, however, tends to lead to a more sexually permissive culture."
This is also the case on college campuses, as many of my girlfriends know first hand. At the small liberal arts college that I attended, the ratio of men: women is 40:60, meaning there are almost twice as many women to men. This leads to a sexually permissive culture in which men have the "upper hand" so to speak, and can demand (if not literally then metaphorically) casual sex without monogamy. Although I hate the idea of commodifying sex in any way, to use an analogy: this is simply supply and demand. If there are twice as many women as men, that means the demand for men goes way up, and so does the "price" for women (sex without monogamy or commitment).
So I can accept the premise and conclusion that when there are more young adult men, there is less monogamy and a more sexually permissive culture. But my liberal arts-feminist-inquisitive brain isn't satisfied with the conclusion, I want to know why. Why is it that this is the trend and hasn't always been? What has changed in the last 20 years to create this new climate.
A few suggestions.
1. Maybe it is just true that men desire sexual promiscuity and multiple partners more than women do. And when these men dominate the numbers game (ie the sexual ratio) you get less monogamy and more sex. And the article discussed here cites cities and college campuses as main places where this sexual ratio is skewed in favor of men. But I think this explanation leaves something to be desired, as it fails to explain those places which the sexual ratio is equal or imbalanced the other way (is it true that a scarcity of women makes men less promiscuous?!)
2.As my last post depicted so nicely, women are now graduating and joining the professional world at a high rate, and therefore are putting off what used to be the "next step" in life-monogamy, marriage and having children. Its possible that this article is misattributing this sexual trend to only men, when really it should have been attributed to BOTH genders desiring less monogamy, and more sexual partners. Certainly watching such shows as "Sex and the City" would give that impression (at least when it comes to Samantha's character). Maybe our young adults are just moving away from monogamy and towards a more sexually permissive culture.
3. Option three is my hybrid option, and the one that I'm going to go ahead and endorse. It is sort of the combination of options 1 and 2, with some adjustment. When you have a culture that is less conducive to monogamy for both men and women, albeit for different reasons, you get a more sexually permissive culture overall. Men don't want monogamy at all and are fine with casual sex, and women are more focused on other things, such as a steady career, so what you get is an environment that this article has described.
So to conclude: do men really do have the upper hand, or not? Since men are in higher demand than women (because there are more and more women who fit this demographic now), they are the ones who-it seems-are making the rules. But who is actually making the rules depends on the men and women in any given situation. The fact that in our 21st century world there are plenty of women who have put any relationship desire on hold to pursue a career, does create a more sexually permissive culture. So if men do have the upper hand in sexual relationships, its not by far, and in my prediction, its not for long.
